He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
