We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
