I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
