I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im just a social blackout drinker.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
