Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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