Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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