im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So much rum. So many feels.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
