craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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