u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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