I'm lost and stupid without you.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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