i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
