I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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