I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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