Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize