Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
