I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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