I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
