We named our party play list daddy issues
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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