Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
are you so shy because you have an std?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
