forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
