similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
