Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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