Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
