It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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