sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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