well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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