I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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