I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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