remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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