i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
