Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i think i just lost a toe
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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