I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You work out of a Hotel?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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