I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
