We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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