i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize