piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
