I must be too annoying 4 u.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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