I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
