I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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