There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
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This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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