i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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