What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
