i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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