I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
