census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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