i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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