And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
