They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
