She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize