my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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