Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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