We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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