She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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