Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My liver just broke up with me...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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