if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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