are you still at the devil's house?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
