He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
