i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So apparently I’m into choking now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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