i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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