Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Randomize
