ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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