At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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