I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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