Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
