I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize