One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
