I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
