I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
