I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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