Non-Jews are for practice
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
